I thought if I shared my journey perhaps it could inspire someone to start their own!
It is no secret I come from a past of dealing with anxiety. And that is also how my journey in Mindfulness and Meditation started. This was before I even met Ashtanga Yoga and Ayurveda. I think that in my case I had to first “catch a breath” before starting with anything else.
I myself decided to search for something with meaning to my life. I myself decided that I wanted to feel good. That was key. I think real change only happens if you let it.
So coming from a place of heavy anxiety, I had to start my journey a little bit different than others. Or that is what I imagine. My first seated meditation was set for one minute (see exercise below or here). I know, you are thinking “so what happens in one minute?” Well, when you feel like you want to crawl out of your own skin, one minute is a long time. And just enough to start.
I held one minute for a really long period of time. Sometimes I was able to stay in calm, sometimes I had a anxiety attack as soon as I sat down, other times I would cry uncontrollably. and sometimes, when not being present, I would be seated one minute and the next fuzzing around. This is without even knowing it. I just let it all happen, which until this day is my absolute biggest struggle.
With more practice I started to see small changes. For example, one minute grew to two minutes and then a whole five minutes. My panic attacks stopped and never came back. That was also when I started with Ashtanga Yoga followed by Ayurveda.
Something I feel important in this practice is to keep reminding myself to let go of how it should be or look. What I should feel or not feel. That no matter if I can be still for one minute or 30 minutes, in the end it is all about the practice and that I practiced. The more we do it the more it becomes. And that I try to have faith in that all will come somehow.
- Sit in a comfortable but awake position on the floor or on a chair
- Close your eyes and place your hands where it feels most comfortable
- Take your full attention to your breath. Follow each inhale and exhale. Without controlling or changing. Just sit and listen. Sit with your breath like this for as long as you have planned
- Come back slowly. Take your time
Note: I recommend always having a teacher at hand both in Mindfulness, Yoga and Ayurveda when getting started