I remember listening to a radio interview with Dr. Wayne Dyer where he addressed a question from a listener regarding “how to stop holding yourself back”. To answer the question he first painted this clear picture of a person literally holding themselves back and continued stating how unnatural that is. He explained it as such; it comes down to a belief and a habit. The belief is a thought that you have thought over and over again. The habit is a behavior you have repeated over and over again. You cannot find light by analyzing the darkness. And you cannot move forward by hanging on to what you used to be. He ends it with advising on giving up your personal history. That radio talk really stuck with me for several reasons.
The most important one being that I am looking to be the best I can be. Holding myself back will not take me there.
“People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they think they don’t deserve them”
I think I have been holding myself back during my whole life but did not become aware of it until I started my practices in yoga and meditation. Before that I was living under a vail (the inability to experience your true self) and my beliefs and habits where in total control of me.
Why is the realization important?
“What you think you become, what you feel you attract, what you imagine you create”
One of my many abrupt awakenings was when my teacher told me to not let anything or anyone have that much power over me. To be honest it felt like a smack in the face when I heard it, but truth usually have that effect on us. In the end I realized I had never thought about my thoughts and habits that way.
Changing a belief and a habit is not easy. Usually it is so ingrained in us that we need real awareness and presence every second of every day to see that thought or behavior arise. After all, it is only in the presence that we can change.
You know how we sometimes wonder why good things never happen to us?
When you hold yourself back, what you really are doing is making yourself small. There is no way around it. You are keeping yourself in a “safe” zone that thrives in your negative behavior, a behavior that keeps you living unhappy, unfulfilled and below your true potential. Staying here does not serve you or the world one bit. Staying here will not align you with who you really are.
There is this ongoing question and debate inside a person who holds back, “who am to shine”?
“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl?”
We all have a personal history. One that has been planted in us by someone or perhaps something or one that has been created by us during life. I am not sure it really matters. I am sure, that it is important to understand that that history, story, and expectation you keep on repeat on who you really are, how you really are and should be is not really you. You see, you are not what a person tells you, you are not the thing that happened to you, you are not what the world wants you to be, you are not your everyday negative thought, you are not your mistake, you are not your suffering whatever it may be, you are not valued in how much you have or do not have, you are not valued in what you can and cannot do. Do you see?
To shine does not mean, in spite of what we may think, that we put ourselves above anyone. It simple means that you allow yourself, the true you, to shine through. How can that be wrong? Let us try it.
“Shine like the whole universe is yours”